I am not on dating websites (other than Feeld which I recently joined for connecting with folks). I am not on Kik, TikTok, Kinkoo, or any of those hundred bullshit fake kinky sites for dating. Most of those sites are scams also (read: Elaborately Fake Dating Sites are Scamming You). I am not sliding into your DMs on IG, Twitter, or Google Hangouts asking if you want to be my submissive, or serve me, or worship me. I am not blackmailing you and threatening to report you to the FBI if you don’t pay up.
These assholes are stealing my images, often my name, and using them to scam y’all. They have terrible grammar and no concern for consent or negotiation. These are sometimes realistic long cons, and sometimes when the info is shared with me, they seem so fake I don’t really understand how you fell for them! I get multiple messages per week about this. Just this week I counted 10 messages about these assholes.
These are my social media profiles. Twitter @ViolaPlease, Instagram: @MistressViola (UPDATE: my Instagram was shut down on 10/10/22, I briefly tried a backup account @violaplease and it was also shut down - I have effectively been de-platformed on Instagram and there is no recourse, there are currently over 20+ MistressViola’s on Instagram are using my images and they are fakes and catfishers, don’t fall for them), Fetlife: @xoViola, Facebook: @Viola Parker, https://www.facebook.com/viola.parker.568 (the others are NOT me). My email address is: ViolaPlease@gmail.com. I am Ms. Viola Parker on Feeld. My only payment handles right now are: Venmo: @MssVp | PayPal: violaplease@gmail.com. I don’t use any other profiles or email addresses. If you don’t see it right here IT IS FAKE.
Be careful. Protect yourself! There is nothing I can do about them besides reporting them, and often the platforms do little about my reports when I do. They don’t care. It is on you to protect yourself on the internet.
How to avoid getting scammed or catfished:
Image check: Always do a reverse image search! (Read: How to do a Reverse Image Search). They are pulling my photos directly off Instagram or my site. They are sometimes even using my website URL, but saying their email is different than mine, my only email is violaplease@gmail.com.
What’s the approach?: Dommes like myself do not usually message first, people come to us to book our time and sessions. I am not fishing in DMs to get clients or to find submissives. When looking for a personal submissive I use Fetlife. I do not slide into DMs telling you to serve me and send me money. If someone with professional-looking photos is doing this, it’s a big red flag. Don’t get sucked in. If it seems to good to be true it probably is. (Read: Beware of ‘catfishing’ Internet romance scams.)
Their profile: Look at their profile, how many followers do they have (not many: RED FLAG), do their photos have very few comments, and none that look like they are from friends or real people that know them? RED FLAG. Is the grammar all messed up and confusing? RED FLAG. Do they have a lot of posts? No? RED FLAG. Do all their photos look like they were added at the same time or on the same date? RED FLAG. Do their captions make sense? No? RED FLAG. A lot of these seems like bots - they steal my photos and then the captions used make little to no sense. It’s weird.
Verify: If someone is using my name or another name, do a google search for that name and look at the website. Most dommes or professionals link to their social media on their website, if the profile messaging you is NOT linked on the domme’s main site, it is likely you are speaking to a scammer. Many dommes have backup accounts in some cases because social media has blocked or shadowbanned their main accounts, but they usually link to these on their main account. Scammers will often say that they are a backup account. Verify.
Don’t send money without verifying: The only time I ask for money is if I am asking for a deposit on a planned session (virtual or in-person). Clients have filled out my form, we may have had a brief phone interview, then I send them my payment handles. Sometimes people gift me, we have established trust and they know I am who I say I am. I do some blackmail fantasy play, but I never do this with anyone who hasn’t consented and who I haven’t established a clear set of guidelines with.
Don’t send personal info without verifying: If someone slides in your messages and asks for intimate pictures, get ready for some blackmail or threats! Be careful who you send pictures and info to! They might threaten to send those pics to everyone in your friends list. This is a common facebook scam and it can be super scary. (Read: What to Do If You Are the Victim of Facebook Sextortion.)
BLOCK AND REPORT. Please report these scammers, imposters, and blackmailers on whatever profile they are using. (How to report imposters on Instagram here).
Stay Positive: There are people out there looking for you. You just need to find them and approach them and do your due diligence to keep yourself safe on the internet. Pay for a professional if you want the fantasy experience. Search your local area for dominatrixes and pro-dommes. They should have a website and a vetting procedure or submission form. If they have a process for verifying you that is a good sign they are real. If you are not in a position to pay, I recommend joining Fetlife and finding local kink events in your area. Read this blog about it below: “How Do I Meet a Real Domme???”
Come Correct: More information on how to meet a domme in this class that myself and Princessa Natasha Strange spent a lot of time putting together, it is only $25 - Come Correct: How to Approach, Serve, and Dazzle Dominant Femmes.